10 Tips for Surviving Mardi Gras
There is no bigger party than Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I would know, I lived to tell this tale. Mardi Gras can be a fun, magical and safe time if you do it right! Here’s 10 tips to make the best of your time in NOLA.
1.It’s Not a party unless it Starts in the Morning:
At Brock University this phrase is common for Homecoming and St. Patrick’s day parties, but in the Big Easy they take it very literally. The first parade on Mardi Gras starts at 8am and some people start drinking as early as 6am. I can tell you from experience, you will not make it all day and night if you get up this early and don’t nap. With that being said tip 2…
2. Day Parades vs. Night parades:
A local claimed the early morning parade is the best, but we completely disagree. There’s good vibes during the day parades, but it’s more family geared. There’s lots of children on shoulders and toys being thrown from floats. Sunday Night’s parade was more rambunctious and fun. If you intend on partying all night I would honestly say just sleep in, because you aren’t missing much during the day. If you really want to see one there is a 5pm one closer to bourbon street.
3. SUPER IMPORTANT BATHROOM NOTE:
Most establishments don’t want to deal with drunk people messing up bathrooms, so they close them to the public. This is superrr inconvenient when you’re drinking and have ‘broken the seal’. Even starbucks puts up signs ‘bathroom out of order’. I was sober and tried to pee at a gas station and they denied me. I read there were portable washrooms available during Mardi gras, but the ones we saw were brought by locals that were charging people to use them. The streets smell of piss, but I don’t recommend doing this because it’s illegal and disrespectful. During the St.Charles parade a super cute Restaurant/bar called Flamingo AGOGO, let us use the washroom without buying a drink, but the people were so nice we went back for lunch and it was the best food we had all trip!
4. Getting Around During Parades
If there’s a parade, prepare to put your needs on hold. Cabs won’t drive in parade areas, even tours you paid for will drop you off a couple blocks from your hotel to avoid traffic. If you need to cross the street during a parade find an officer and let them know, they will instruct you when and where it is safe to do so. There are tons of officers standing along the parade routes.
6. Costumes
People go all out with costumes: fancy masks, coloured tights, feather boas, glitter, sunshine and some straight bizzaro stuff. If you don’t want to bring a costume there are HUNDREDS of NOLA costume shops, but be forewarned some of the stuff is expensive. The main colours are Purple, Green and Gold. Have options because weather is very unpredictable. It was supposed to be 25 degrees C, but the whole week was 10 degrees with frequent rain. My outfit is below, but 2 super important things to note on SHOES, 1) You’ll do A LOT of walking on mardi gras, so ditch the heels and go for comfortable flats. 2) DIRT, PISS, AND GARBAGE. I was warned not to wear white shoes because they’ll get ruined, so I opted for cheap sparkly ones…but it wasn’t just the dirt…I left my shoes in NOLA because they stunk like the piss/garbage from the streets and it was nasty. Bring shoes you give ZERO shits about. You’ll thank me for this one aha.
5. Titties: Are the Rumors True?
To begin, Yes and No. During the day parades that pass through St. Charles there are lots of families present so try to be mindful of that. I support ‘free the nipple’ movement and all that jazz, do you honey… but out of respect to the families, musicians and the culture; keep it PG. This is a celebration before lent, it isn’t Jerry Springer…with the exception of Bourbon Street…
During the evening on this street in particular, you WILL see titties. You’ll see all sorts of strange things that will both make you laugh, cheer and sometimes haunt your nightmares.
There was a golf cart driving through that read “Show me your asshole” and “Will do anything to eat pussy”. Some bars will paint artwork on your titties. People will both show you their titties for beads and ask to see yours in exchange, but that’s not the only way to get beads.
5. GIMMIE MY BEADS
Flashing is a quick way to get beads on bourbon, but there’s more to it. Don’t flash for beads during parades, you need to be semi athletic and intentional. Eye contact is key. My sister was queen of catching beads and she only flashed once. Rule #1 hands up ALWAYS. This is not only to catch beads, but also for protection. Being whipped in the face by beads hurts like a mother f*****. Eyes on the float at all times. Rule #2. Don’t bend down to pick up beads, there are over a million people at Mardi Gras and that’s a quick way break your fingers. Rule #3 Boobs for Beads is always negotiable. I wanted balcony beads on bourbon, but was not down to undo my body suit and show the girls, so they often respond with something else like “Shake your ass for it”. I won’t lie I shook my booty real hard for a pair of authentically earned beads, it was empowering for three seconds.. I had also been drinking since 9am, blame it on the juice.
6. Raising a Little Hell brings the Wrath of Protestors
There are multiple protests against the drinking and hedonism of Mardi Gras and those people may seem ridiculous at first, but they do not F**** around and it’s not peaceful protesting. I watched a fight break out, saw them scream at people, make racist remarks etc. Just ignore them and walk by. They may shout obscenities at you, but it’s like a rabid goat…don’t engage or they will try to bite you.
7. Drinking in NOLA
The Legal Drinking age in most states is 21. They’ll ID you at bars, but during Mardi Gras drinking outside is legal! I read that alcohol is fine if it’s in plastic cups, no glass, but that wasn’t even the case. People walked around with beer bottles, Mickeys etc. and weren’t given any trouble. I bring a 1L water pouch wherever I go, so I filled that with gin and soda and didn’t pay for a single drink. Most bars will let you bring your outside alcohol in and give you to go cups, so don’t worry about spending too much money partying all day! I got my booze at duty free.
8. Bars in NOLA
Majority of the party is on bourbon. There’s an option to pay 300$ for vip skip the line, balcony access, bathroom skip line etc at Bourbon Heat. I’m so glad we didn’t get that because it’s not necessary. If you’re on bourbon St at a decent time there are no lines to get in most places and no cover til later. You can pop in and out of bars as you please. We started at Fat Cats, which has open mic mixed a with 90s/2000s DJ throughout the night. We popped in a couple of bars along Bourbon, but Fat Cats was our favourite so we spent the rest of the night there. The balconies seemed like a great time, but we were content with dancing and making friends from all over the world. By 1130pm my sister stepped out and when she turned to go back in they tried to charge her $20 so we headed on the streets for remainder of the night.
9. Til The Break of Dawn
On Mardi Gras the party doesn’t stop, BUT at midnight cops come through the streets blowing whistles and clearing people out. You can still party but you have to go indoors. This wasn’t really a problem because by 11:30 I was basically black out anyways, which brings me to my next point…
10. STAYING SAFE IN NOLA
I was worried about so many things going into Nola. I was warned about my phone, my camera, about gangs, shootings, dark alleys and riots etc. In my experience there, I didn’t find New Orleans any more dangerous than the bad areas of my hometown Oshawa or Toronto. That being said there are precautions to have a fun safe time. I was warned people will grab your phone from your hands and run…maybe this happens, but my phone was safely tucked in my purse and I had no problems. If this is going to stress you out, I suggest fanny packs! As for valuables, I walked around with both my go-pro and expensive camera in my backpack and didn’t have any issues. Maybe don’t bring them on bourbon at night and don’t flash them around in big crowds, you should be fine. Stick with your group or buddy and try to stay where the crowds are. If you read my Nola guide i’ve outlined the main districts that are on the safer side (Magazine, Garden, The French Quarter, St. Charles). If you’re walking the streets with your drink try to use a lid so nobody can spike it. You can drink and have fun, just be aware of your surroundings and remember there are still laws and tons of officers, so don’t be an asshat.
